Top Ten --Er, Six -- Pet Peeves in Historical Romances

I admit it, I'm a fan of historical romance. Always have been, even long before I started writing it. But I have to say there are some things that drive me straight round the bend and make me toss a book aside...

1. Getting the titles wrong. Lady Sarah Winchester isn't the same person as Lady Winchester is, and when the author gets it wrong, it's easy to dismiss the story entirely.

(Here's the skinny on how to handle dukes ... marquesses ... viscounts ... barons ... and baronets.) 

2. Getting the succession wrong. Inheritance of money is one thing, titles are another. Illegitimate sons could not inherit titles, period. Oldest sons could not be bypassed in favor of younger ones. Daughters could not pass along titles at all (there are a very few exceptions, by royal decree).

3. Getting the geography wrong. London to Gretna Green is 320 miles. Even if you figure an average speed of 10 miles per hour for a team of horses (and that would be tough to maintain over time, what with having to stop to change teams every few miles), it was impossible to do the trip in a day, much less overnight, during the Georgian or Regency eras. Which was the entire point, of course, since by the time a couple had been together and alone for such a long journey, the girl's reputation was ruined and irreparable. 

4. 21^st century characters who turn up in historical time periods. I don't mean modern-day characters who time travel. I mean people who were supposedly born and reared in the 1300s, or the 1500s, or the 1800s, but who think and act and talk and behave as though they just stepped out of Starbucks holding a latte and an iPhone, complete with modern sensibilities and politically-correct attitudes.

5. Magically-survivable injuries. Before modern antibiotics, being shot in the abdomen was pretty much a death sentence. There are real-life stories of survivors, yes, but they’re remembered because they were rare. Concussions were just as serious then as they are now, and being hit over the head hard enough to cause unconsciousness for a period of time is likely to lead to bleeding in the brain and death, not a nice long sleep and then waking up feeling just fine and remembering everything. (Author Eileen Dreyer, who was a trauma nurse before writing thrillers, does some great seminar sessions on medicine in historical eras and how authors get it wrong.)

6. Trusting other authors to get it right. I swear I’ve read a historical novel where the hero complained about the heroine feeding him pablum – but when I checked, I discovered that particular baby formula was invented in the 1930s instead. Oops.

What about you? What are your pet peeves, the things that make you toss a book aside? Please share!

A Regency Lady Meets Third-Grade Students

This week I had the honor and privilege of being a visiting author at my granddaughter's third-grade class. Speaking to 9-year-olds about books and writing represents something of a challenge, considering that I write love stories, and some hot and spicy ones at that. Reading a passage from my books would require some pretty careful editing.

So I decided to talk about research, and the many differences between their lives as kids born into the 21st century and what things would have been like for 9-year-olds and their parents 200 years ago, during the Regency period when many of my stories are set. 

And I went dressed as a Regency lady -- gown, shawl, gloves... I skipped the corset, though. :)

I was pleased at how quickly these very savvy kids defined the math problem of how many years ago the Regency period began and came up with the answer. And then we started talking about all the differences -- the things that didn't exist 200 years ago. They easily got all the obvious ones -- cell phones and the Internet, cars and electric lights. I had to prod a little to get them to figure out that refrigeration was hardly the easy and commonplace thing we have today, and they were stunned when we figured out that the trip from their school to the state capital -- a two-hour drive today -- would take something like twenty hours and at least 10 different teams of horses.

Among the things which surprised them most were schools. Despite the number of their peers who are home-schooled today, they were startled by the fact that kids their age would have been educated at home by governesses, or they'd have gone to boarding school -- if their families could afford it. Or they simply wouldn't have gone to school at all, if their families were poor.

Next time -- and I've already been invited to speak to another group of 9 and 10-year-olds next month -- I'll try to find a piece of one of my books which I can actually share with the kids. 

But this time, we finished up with a story about a pet duck my family used to have -- a children's book my husband and I are thinking of publishing later this year. That's Just Ducky at two days old -- already showing her inborn instincts by trying to incubate an egg!

Writing Between the Sexes

Let's face it -- men and women are different, and the  ways in which they talk, act, and think differently cause all kinds of distress for writers. That's why a seminar called Writing Between the Sexes is the most popular program I do, not only for the writers who attend but for me. 

Last weekend a great group -- First Coast Romance Writers -- gathered in Jacksonville, Florida, to share a day of discussion with me. And did we ever have fun!

Writers fall into a trap when we write about characters of the opposite sex, because we make them act as if they were us. 

Women writers tend to write about guys who are chatty, who ask questions, who share feelings, who think things to death -- and act just like one of the girls. 

Male writers tend to write about gals who give advice, who are pushy, who approach pretty much everything in sexual terms -- and act just like one of the guys. 

The result is often a reader who's turned off -- even if she doesn't completely understand why.

We had a riotously good time on Saturday as we went through the many, many ways in which thinking, talking, and acting differ between the sexes. Thank you to Ada and Abigail and Suzanne, to everyone who played a part in bringing me to Jacksonville, and to everyone who took part!

Thanks to Lynda Gail Alfano, Entourage Member Extraordinaire, for the photos.

Regency vests and waistcoats

Since I write Regency-period historicals, I'm always on the lookout for tidbits of information about that era -- and how they relate to today's world. So I was intrigued to find out why a stylish modern man leaves the bottom button unfastened on his vest.

It's because the Prince of Wales, Britain's regent ruler during the 1810s and the reason the Regency period got its name, was ... well, let's just say he got pretty portly over the years. When his stylishly-tight clothing got to be uncomfortable, he'd unbutton something. Finally, he just started leaving the bottom button open all the time.

So when your guy gets dressed up in a three-piece suit, he's paying homage to a British ruler from two hundred years ago. 

The illustration here is of George as a young man -- or perhaps the artist just knew how to flatter his patron.

Here's another interesting tidbit. In the US we call the third piece of a three-piece suit a vest, but in Britain, it's called a waistcoat. What Brits call a vest is what we American's call an undershirt. So you can imagine how silly it sounds to a British reader when an American author refers to leaving the lowest button of a vest unfastened. Sigh. 

As playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, England and the United States are two countries "separated by the same language." And that brings up a question. Have you faced a situation where it was tough to make yourself understood -- or tough to get what the other person was talking about -- because of an oddity in the language?

Waiting to Hear

As the date draws closer for the release of my new Regency-period historical romance, I find myself most anxious to hear the audio version.

The Birthday Scandal is my fourth historical romance... my 84th romance novel... at least my 105th book... but the very, very first which will be released as an audio book.

A few weeks ago, when the book was being recorded, actress Rosalyn Landor and I had a lovely conversation via email to talk about accents. One of the three heroes in the book is American, and she asked where he was from, so she could make him sound just right.

Rosalyn is an experienced narrator and I can't wait to hear how she shares my story about the three Arden siblings (Lucien, Isabel, and Emily) as they find love at their great-uncle's 70th birthday ball.

In the meantime, I'm in production with four more audio projects. Creating Romantic Characters will be out soon -- it's a non-fiction book about building characters from the ground up. It will be followed by Wedding Daze, which is a Regency short story (it'll only be about a half-hour long, though I wish it was more -- the narrator has such a lovely accent!). The other two projects are contemporary romances -- The Best Made Plans and The Lake Effect, which will probably be coming out at the beginning of next year.

Of course the narrator has the really hard job in this enterprise -- I've done enough radio spots in my time to have a great appreciation of the work they do. Still, I'm finding that the producer doesn't have an easy time of it, either. Part of my job is to listen to each book all the way through -- sometimes multiple times. While that sounds like fun (and indeed it is) it's also a challenge to stay completely alert in order to catch a wrong word or an unclear phrase, and then get it noted down quickly with the exact time spot in the recording, so it can easily be redone. Not at all like listening to a book for fun!