Writing Between the Sexes

Let's face it -- men and women are different, and the  ways in which they talk, act, and think differently cause all kinds of distress for writers. That's why a seminar called Writing Between the Sexes is the most popular program I do, not only for the writers who attend but for me. 

Last weekend a great group -- First Coast Romance Writers -- gathered in Jacksonville, Florida, to share a day of discussion with me. And did we ever have fun!

Writers fall into a trap when we write about characters of the opposite sex, because we make them act as if they were us. 

Women writers tend to write about guys who are chatty, who ask questions, who share feelings, who think things to death -- and act just like one of the girls. 

Male writers tend to write about gals who give advice, who are pushy, who approach pretty much everything in sexual terms -- and act just like one of the guys. 

The result is often a reader who's turned off -- even if she doesn't completely understand why.

We had a riotously good time on Saturday as we went through the many, many ways in which thinking, talking, and acting differ between the sexes. Thank you to Ada and Abigail and Suzanne, to everyone who played a part in bringing me to Jacksonville, and to everyone who took part!

Thanks to Lynda Gail Alfano, Entourage Member Extraordinaire, for the photos.

The Importance of Being Edited

Over the holidays, I've been spending a fair bit of time with my e-reader in hand. (Yeah, I've collected four of 'em. Call me compulsive.) And I have to say it's been ... educational. And entertaining. And a little sad.

"The cobblestone street was picturesque, but it was hell on his sports car's shock observers."

Shock observers? Really? Is that like little people strapped on the corners of the car keeping an eye on those shocks?

“It’ll have to be in the next hour. I have a wedding reversal this afternoon.”

That was a priest speaking -- not a divorce attorney. 

He was moving as quickly as if he’d been shot out of a canon.

Hmm. Maybe that was the same religious person?

Joe was having an outer body experience.

Yeah, being shot out of a cannon can do that to you.

She opened the cupboard and pulled out a vile of penicillin.

To treat that vile out-of-body experience, perhaps?

Maybe he was angry and had come to ball her out for not inviting him.

With a cannon ball, no doubt.

One knee peeked out of well warn blue jeans.

By all means, make sure those old Levis know they're in danger!

It was a totally bogus murder wrap.

And the detectives wrapped it up nicely...

Every writer needs an editor. Because if we don't already know the right word, then we have no reason to stop writing and look it up to make sure we haven't chosen the wrong one. 

Goodreads Giveaways

I'm currently offering two different giveaways at Goodreads. Come on over and sign up for a chance to win a copy of my new contemporary romance novel, Return to Amberley, or one of two copies of my book about the differences between men and women, Writing Between the Sexes. All will be autographed. Giveaways will end in early January, and winners will receive the books soon afterward.

Here are the book descriptions, and the links to enter the drawings:

Return to Amberley

Autographed copy -- a new contemporary romance, never before published. When her girlhood crush blossomed into marriage, Andie believed in a rosy future with the man of her dreams – until Todd's betrayal sent her from the beauty of Minnesota's winters to Atlanta to begin anew. But just a few months later, Todd walks back into Andie’s life – asking for her help. The stone quarry they jointly inherited is for sale, and a good price would secure the future for both of them – paying Andie’s tuition and buying freedom for Todd to concentrate on his sculpture. They need to sell now, but the prospective buyer believes he can pick up the quarry at a discount while Todd and Andie fight through a divorce. Todd wants Andie to rejoin him at the family home, Amberley, and put a false face on their failing marriage to convince the buyer and sell the quarry. But is Andie risking her heart if she returns to Amberley?

Writing Between the Sexes

Men and women think, talk, and act differently -- which causes problems for writers who are trying to create characters of the opposite sex. When we understand the difference between masculine and feminine qualities and habits, we can use those behaviors and patterns to create characters who are plausible and unique, but not stereotypical. Writing Between the Sexes will help you to identify your own gender-specific behaviors, notice those of the opposite sex, and use both to make your characters realistic and believable.

Listen Up!

I really got into audiobooks with the Harry Potter series, partly because I so enjoyed the way that Jim Dale converted J. K. Rowling's words into a complete sensory experience. For a long time, my husband and I never went anywhere without a set of Potter tapes (and later CDs) riding along. And of course audiobooks are great for making time go faster when I'm stuck with a tedious and mind-numbing task. I can even get excited about painting a wall if I have a good book to listen to. 

The first few of my own audiobook projects are now reaching completion, and I couldn't be more excited. Three are now finished, with another five in production.

 Creating Romantic Characters focuses on one of the most important elements of writing -- creating characters who feel real, exciting, and worthy of a book. No matter how exciting the plot, it's the people in a story who make it memorable. The techniques and examples in Creating Romantic Characters will help you produce provocative, exciting, forceful characters with dynamic stories. Whether you're writing romance novels, stories which include romantic relationships, or general fiction, this book will help you create characters who are romantic and heroic, adventurous and mysterious -- larger than life. 

(Narrated by Erin Novotny)

Writing Between the Sexes is a summary of a seminar I do in person and on line from time to time. Men and women think, talk, and act differently -- which causes problems for writers who are trying to create characters of the opposite sex. When we understand the difference between masculine and feminine qualities and habits, we can use those behaviors and patterns to create characters who are plausible and unique, but not stereotypical. Writing Between the Sexes will help you to identify your own gender-specific behaviors, notice those of the opposite sex, and use both to make your characters realistic and believable.

(Narrated by John David -- coming soon)

Wedding Daze is a Regency-period short story -- the audio is just half an hour long.  It's too late for Emily to back out of her wedding, even though she's pretty sure she'll regret it if she says "I do." The groom is just as reluctant -- and their respective fathers seem to be the only ones who think the wedding is a good idea. Will Harry and Emily make it to the altar? (Narrated by B. F. Laskar -- coming soon)

Spotlighting the Speaker

The rule of thumb you usually hear on paragraphing dialogue is to start a new paragraph for each new speaker. But there are actually so many exceptions that I think a better way is to think of dialogue as if you’re watching two actors on stage.

As we watch the play, we look at Actor A and listen to what he says, then we turn to look at Actor B and see what the reaction is and listen to what Actor B says. But even if Actor B doesn't say anything, we still turn our heads to look at the reaction (the expression, the glare, the physical motion, the deer-in-headlights stare). In other words, we've changed our focus from one actor to the other one.

When you're writing dialogue, picture the two people as if they’re on stage. Where you turn your head to look at the other person, start a new paragraph – even if that person doesn't say anything.

Whenever you want the reader to change focus – to “look at” the other person – start a new paragraph.

Then put everything about that person’s reaction into one paragraph. What he says, what he does, the attribution, all goes together. (If it’s a long paragraph, consider breaking it up by returning to the other person for a moment mid-stream.)

Keep going back and forth – helping the reader to turn her head and look at the other person – and you’ll have a more lively dialogue.

Characters Who Keep Secrets

Can a point of view character keep a big secret, without losing the reader's sympathy? That was the subject of a program I presented last week to the Central Iowa Fiction Writers group in Des Moines, Iowa. And the answer is YES -- if the author is careful.

Here are the rules for playing fair with the reader:

Only keep important secrets.

If it’s important enough, it should be secret.

Give the character a good reason to finally break down and tell the truth.

Don’t tease.

Ask the normal questions.

Have another character ask or answer the obvious question.

Tell the truth wherever possible.

Don’t lie, no matter what.

Divert the reader’s attention to something else.

Foreshadow, foreshadow, foreshadow.

What do you think? Let's talk!

Talking about Writing

In just six weeks this spring, I'm giving seminars for three different writers' groups, on three different topics. I'm always intrigued to see the many differences between groups -- the dynamics of how they work together, the topics they want to hear about, the questions they ask.

In mid-March, I was in Lexington, Kentucky, to speak to Kentucky Romance Authors. The topic was Writing Between The Sexes -- the differences in how men and women think, act, and talk, and how to use those differences to create believable (but not stereotypical) characters. We spent all day -- from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. -- discussing, studying examples, and doing exercises.

These ladies are intense. About half of them brought their laptops in order to take better notes. The writing which was done in the afternoon exercises was superb -- some of it is now appearing on the authors' websites and being crafted into works in progress. (Robyn, I'm still waiting to read your take on the Bigfoot story!)

This week, I'll be speaking to a neighborhood group of writers. Mostly poets and columnists and memoir writers, these writers are interested in hearing about publishing in general and the many changes which have come about in the last couple of years -- with many of them considering self-publishing sooner or later.

Next week, I'll speak to the Iowa Romance Novelists, about Characters Who Keep Secrets. I look forward to meeting up again with some writers I've known for years -- and celebrating many new successes!