And That's My Point of View...

Are you confused about the difference between first person and third person point of view? Between omniscient and selective? Here are some examples to help you distinguish between the many varieties of POV.

First person: (includes the thoughts, feelings and perspective of one main character, who's telling his/her own story)

             As I walked up the hill, I realized that the atmosphere was just too quiet. There was no sound from the cardinal who was nearly always singing from the top of the maple tree. I thought I saw a shadow move high up on the slope, but when I looked again it was gone. Still, I shuddered as I felt a silent threat pass over me like a cloud over the sun.

Second person: (turns the reader into the character)

             As you walk up the hill, you realize that the atmosphere's just too quiet. There's no sound from the cardinal you know is almost always singing from the top of the maple tree. You think you see a shadow move high up on the slope, but when you look again it's gone. You shudder as you feel a silent threat pass over you. You feel cold, like a cloud just passed over the sun.

Third person selective singular: (includes the thoughts and perspective of one main character)

             As she walked up the hill, she realized that the atmosphere was just too quiet. There was no sound from the cardinal who she so often heard singing from the top of the maple tree. She thought she saw a shadow move high up on the slope, but when she looked again it was gone. Nevertheless, she shuddered as she felt a silent threat pass over her. It felt like a cloud creeping over the sun.

Third person selective multiple: (includes the thoughts of more than one main character but only one at a time. The scene break--*****--indicates a change from one POV to the other)

             As she walked up the hill, she realized that the atmosphere was just too quiet. There was no sound from the cardinal who she so often heard singing from the top of the maple tree. She thought she saw a shadow move high up on the slope, but when she looked again it was gone. Nevertheless, she shuddered as she felt a silent threat pass over her. It felt like a cloud creeping over the sun.

*****

            He saw her start up the hill, and he moved quickly behind the shelter of the huge old maple tree. If she saw him now, everything would be ruined, but if he could stay hidden until she came within range--well, then she'd have to talk to him. Wouldn't she?

Third person dual: (includes the thoughts of two main characters)

             As she walked up the hill, she realized that the atmosphere was just too quiet. There was no sound from the cardinal who she so often heard singing from the top of the maple tree.

            He saw her start up the hill, and he moved quickly behind the shelter of the huge old maple tree. If she saw him now, everything would be ruined.

            She thought she saw a shadow move high up on the slope, but when she looked again it was gone.

            If he could just stay hidden until she came within range, he thought, then she'd have to talk to him. Wouldn't she?

            She shuddered as she felt a silent threat pass over her. It felt like a cloud creeping over the sun.

Third person omniscient: (all-knowing; can include thoughts and perspective of all characters)

             As the girl walked up the hill, she realized that the atmosphere was just too quiet.

            The cardinal tipped his head back and drew breath to sing, but just as the first note passed his beak he heard the crack of a dead branch far below his perch high in the maple tree. Startled, he looked down, cocking his head to one side and watching with great interest while the man rattled the blades of grass as he tried to hide himself behind the tree.

            As the man saw her start up the hill, he moved quickly into the shelter of the huge old maple tree. If she saw him now, everything would be ruined.

            She thought she saw a shadow move high up on the slope, but when she looked again it was gone.

            The man thought if he could stay hidden until she came within range, she'd have to talk to him. Wouldn't she?

            The girl shuddered as she felt a silent threat pass over her. It felt like a cloud creeping over the sun.

Third person detached: (no thoughts; the POV of screenplays)

            The girl walked up the quiet hillside.

            In the top of the maple tree, the cardinal tipped his head back and drew breath to sing. A dead branch cracked on the ground below the bird's perch.

            The man stepped on the branch and rattled the blades of grass as he moved behind the tree. He watched the girl come up the hillside toward him.

            Her gaze shifted quickly and warily from one shadowy area high on the slope to another, and she shuddered.

Factors which affect POV choices:

    What kind of story is it?--external (action) or internal (psychological)? A story loaded with events is more likely to use third person selective multiple or third person dual, while a story filled with the psychological workings of a character's mind is more likely to be first person or third person selective singular. 

    How long is the story? Will there be time to develop the reader's identification with and sympathy for more than one viewpoint character?

    Who is the main character? Whose story is this? 

    Is any one character is in a position to observe all the major events of the story? 

    Is the main character sympathetic in nature, one the reader is likely to identify with? Is the character able to express himself well and clearly?

    Who is the audience? What is the intended market, and what viewpoint style does the targeted publisher prefer?

Those blasted apostrophes...

I’m not sure why apostrophes give us so much trouble, but they do. Perhaps it’s because there are two different reasons to use apostrophes, so we get them mixed up.

The first use of apostrophes is to form possessives. When we say that something belongs to someone, then we need an apostrophe to show who owns what. 

If a word is just a plural, with nothing owned, then there’s no need for an apostrophe. So it would be: Several doctors studied his case. 

If you’re writing about a busy doctor, you’d say: The doctor’s office was filled with people.

The doctor “owns” the office, so we need the possessive form.

If it’s a practice with more than one doctor, it would be The doctors’ office was filled with people.  The doctors all “own” the office together, so again we need the possessive – in this case, on top of the plural doctors.

But if you say, The doctors were very busy, there’s nothing owned here, so there’s no need for an apostrophe. 

The second use of apostrophes is to form contractions. We tend to do all right with they’re (aside from mixing it up with there and their), and I’m and isn't and such; where we get into big trouble is with it’s and its. And that’s probably because we try to apply rule #1 to its, and add an apostrophe when we use it to indicate possession.

But its (along with ours, yours, his, and hers) are exceptions to the possessive rule; these pronouns are possessive already so they don’t need apostrophes. We only use an apostrophe when it’s is used as a contraction of it is.

So if you say, The dog chased its tail, we don’t need an apostrophe.

But if we say, It’s a lovely day, then we’re really saying It is a lovely day, and we do use the apostrophe.

Clear as mud, right?

Here are the rules of thumb to help you determine whether you need to add an apostrophe.

Is it a possessive?

If you’re wondering whether to use an apostrophe, ask yourself what the word in question owns. If there’s an answer, then you need the apostrophe.

The clown’s grin was huge. (The clown’s what? The clown’s grin. Apostrophe needed.)

The clowns piled out of the little car. (The clown’s what? – nothing. No apostrophe needed.)

Is it a contraction?

If you’re wondering whether to use an apostrophe, ask yourself what the word in question stands for. If it’s really two words, then you need the apostrophe.

It’s a far, far better thing I do... (It is a far, far better thing... Apostrophe needed.)

It’s time to go to work. (It is time... Apostrophe needed.)

The power surge made the hard drive blow its brains out. (Blow it is brains? Nope – no apostrophe needed.)

Anything I didn't cover? Let's talk about it!

The Butler Did It!

Since most of us don’t have servants, it’s sometimes tough to picture what people in service in the grand houses of the past actually did all day. If you've read my post on the housemaid’s job, you may have concluded that the upper servants had a far easier time of it. And that’s true, though it depends on how large the household actually was.

In the grandest of houses, the head of the staff would be a house steward who was in charge of hiring and firing servants and paying the tradesman’s bills, but in the merely grand houses, those duties would be split between the butler – assisted perhaps by an under-butler – and the housekeeper.

While the housekeeper is (naturally) in charge of the house, the butler is in charge of the dining room – including protecting, polishing, and counting the silver and maintaining the wine cellar – and overseeing all the male servants. If there was no valet to wait on the master of the house, the butler took care of his clothing and dressing room.

While the pattern of a butler’s day varied greatly depending on the size of the household and the activities of the family, here’s a pretty normal pattern for the butler in a medium-sized house:

It is the butler’s duty to set the breakfast table, bring up the food and drink, wait on table, and clear after the family has finished – a pattern which is repeated at luncheon, dinner, and with the evening tea tray just before bedtime. After each meal he supervises the cleaning of all the silver, china, glasses, and serving dishes and makes sure they are put away in their proper places.

Between meals, he takes up his other duties. He take care of the master's clothes, laying out what he'll need next, cleaning or brushing or mending, and straightening the dressing room. He checks the wine cellar, tending to any wines which may be off in taste or color, or bottling wines which were delivered in casks. He polishes the silver (no tarnish-proof strips in those days!), and he’s on duty to answer the door from morning till night. After the household has retired, he makes sure all the menservants have gone to bed, then locks up the doors and windows before (finally!) retiring himself.

By the Victorian era, when paying calls over tea became a standard afternoon activity, the butler had it a bit easier. The fashion for Victorian ladies was to have a very attractive parlormaid who would answer the door and wait on the ladies and their afternoon callers at tea time. Since the butler was not required, he could rest for an hour.

Pay during the Regency period? From 30 to 80 pounds sterling per year – depending on the size of the family and the household staff. But he also received his master’s cast-off clothes, as well as the leftover pieces of the wax candles, once they were too short to burn! 

Sources: The Complete Servant, by Samuel and Sarah Adams, published 1825
Etiquette, by Emily Post, published 1922

Random Thoughts From Writers

For years I've collected snippets and quotes from authors about writing. Here are a few of my favorites.

Samuel Johnson: "No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money."

Agatha Christie: "The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes."

Mark Twain on doing research: "Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as you please."

Ken Kesey (author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest): "I like being a famous writer. The problem is, every once in a while you have to write something."

Alan Jay Lerner (author of the screenplay Gigi): "A daydream I have often had about lyric writing... I am locked in a hotel room for three days working on a song. Suddenly the door opens and there stand all my closest friends. "One of them says, "What have you been doing in here for three days?" I reply, "Writing." One of them says, "What have you written?" I reply, "I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more." They look at each other hopelessly, call the appropriate medical authorities, and I am put away for the rest of my natural life."

Megan Daniel (author of Regency romances): "For any writer, however talented, to try writing the kind of book she doesn't enjoy and respect is cruel and unusual punishment -- and useless, besides."

Judith Krantz: "I'm so used to people saying, 'Now that you've made enough money with these bestsellers, isn't it time to write a really good book?' Now would anyone have said to Irving Berlin, 'You could write like Mozart if you tried,' or to Willie Nelson, 'It's time you wrote an opera'? They don't understand that I'm writing the best I can, each time."

Kurt Vonnegut: "This is the secret of good story-telling: to lie, but to keep the arithmetic sound."

Dr. Seuss, about And To Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street: "After the 23rd rejection, I found myself lugging the manuscript up Madison Avenue, headed for my apartment, where I was going to dump the damned thing in the incinerator. If I had been going up the EAST side of Madison Avenue, I would probably never have become a published author. But I happened to be lugging it up the WEST side of Madison Avenue when I bumped into a long-unseen college friend, Mike McClintock. Mike said, "What are you doing these days?" I said, "I'm an unsuccessful author of children's books. What are YOU doing these days?" And Mike said, "I am an editor of children's books. We're standing right in front of my office. Why don't we step inside?" Twenty minutes later I became a legitimate author with a contract, and since that day I have always made it a point to walk up the west side of Madison Avenue."

Alan Jay Lerner (author of My Fair Lady and Camelot): "In the end I have come to realize that I write not because it is what I do, but because it is what I am; not because it is how I make my living, but how I make my life."

Which of these comments resonates with you? 

For me, I have to admit: some days, I agree with Sam Johnson -- but on good days, that last comment from Alan Jay Lerner hits home.

Creating Suspense in Fiction

Suspense is what keeps the reader turning pages, anxious to find out why and what and when and how. Suspense is what makes the reader worry about the characters -- whether they’ll be all right, if they’ll finally reach their happy ending.

Now, we’re not necessarily talking about suspense in terms of actual danger, here. The character's life doesn't have to be at stake for us to create suspense for the reader.

 Suspense is the reader’s natural desire to know what happens next.

Too often, the author – because she knows what’s happening and why and what’s going to happen next, sacrifices the suspense which would keep her reader moving forward.

Here’s an example of how an author sacrificed all the suspense in her situation with a giveaway last line to a scene where she’d told the reader about the scheme her heroine was cooking up:

It was a great plan. And it worked.

At that point, we know what the scheme is. And we know it worked. So just how likely are we to turn the page and read on?

Oh, we might, just to find out exactly how things worked out – especially if we really like the character, or it’s a funny setup. Or if we’re blowing off a slow, lovely Sunday afternoon and have nothing better to do.

But if it’s midnight and we have to go to work in the morning… or if we just recalled that there’s a load of laundry needing to be folded before the wrinkles set… or if the kids are whining about being hungry… or the husband wants to go for a walk on a slow, lovely Sunday afternoon… then the book is apt to get set aside. 

And once a book is set aside, it might never be picked up again.

But what if that author had written this instead?

It was a great plan. And it almost worked.

Then it’s going to be much tougher for the reader to close the book and turn off the light and go cozily off to sleep or out for a walk, or feed the kids anything that takes time to fix. And the laundry? She’ll forget it entirely.

In this case, just one word makes a huge difference – because instead of the reader knowing that the heroine’s plans went just as she hoped they would, all we know is that they didn't.

Workspace Wednesday

I'm blogging today about my office -- past and present -- with photos. Come take a look at the room where I write  -- and leave a comment for a chance to win either a signed ARC of The Birthday Scandal or a signed copy of Return to Amberley -- winner's choice.

Leigh's office

Each week author Norah Wilson invites fellow writers to post photos of their office space. Being the curious folks we readers are, it's fun to see where those stories we love are dreamed up and put on paper. I've loved seeing all the wonderful spots where authors write, and I hope you'll enjoy seeing mine.

Norah is a fellow Montlake Romance author, and her books -- romantic suspense and paranormal -- are wildly popular with readers. Thanks, Norah, for the chance to share my office with readers!